السبت، 23 أكتوبر 2010

First draft


Woman 's work
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                   one of the big decisions  is that a woman  must make is whether to stay home with her children  or to go t o work .today woman has  entered the field of work and achieved success . Men is equal to women  and they  have the same rights.  So,  there are some people agree with woman working and others who are against woman' work. My point of view is that woman's place is in her house .

               On one hand ,Woman's work is very important nowadays. There are some people who agree with woman's work. They assure that woman should work to achieve her self esteem . Also, it is necessary  for her to work to improve her skills and to apply what she had studied before . in addition to that she should to be independent financially from her husband . Many women work to increase their incomes and to help their husbands . Work  protects women against certain negative aspects of being full-time homemakers .women prefer to work to spend her time in work especially when she is   divorced and to make friendship and to interact with others to exchange information .

                  On the other hand ,some people are against woman's work for many reasons . They argue that woman neglects  most of her duties in her home as a wife and a mother as she spend most of her time out side the home .If she has  baby ,she needs to put him on babysitters or day care  and therefore she should pay  a lot of money .Some people  argue that there are a lot of problems that result from woman's work such as   Increasing in divorce rate and or unstable relationship amongst couples. Work has a bad  effect on her health as she retuned her house very tired .So I am against woman's work.

            To sum up , Men and women are by no means equal ,but I think that her first role is to stay at home and to take care of her family. Woman's work should be a carefully planned decision.

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هناك تعليقان (2):

  1. Really your pictures represent your point of view. Before reading the essay I expected your argument. So excellent choice of pictures.
    As for the dtailed commnets on your drfat:
    1. one(capitalize) of the big(biggest) decisions( is that a) woman(women) must make is whether to stay home with her children or to go t o work .today(capitalize) woman has entered the field of work and achieved
    2. So, there are some people agree with(woman' work) woman working and others (who) are against (woman' work). My point of view is that woman's place is in her house .
    3. On one hand ,Woman's(don’t capitalize) work is
    4. in (capitalize)addition to that she should to be independent financially (financially independent)from her husband . Many
    5. They argue that woman neglects most of her duties in her home as a wife and (as) a mother as she spend most of her time out side the
    6. Increasing (don’t capitalize)in divorce rate and or(and/or) unstable relationship amongst couples. Work has a bad effect on her health as she retuned her house very tired .So I am against woman's work.(mention examples of working women that you know to assure your opinion)
    7. To sum up , Men(don’t capitalize) and women are

    ردحذف
  2. your essay has very suffecient and clear ideas . you convenced me of your point of view . also yyur pictures are related to your point of riew / but you have proalem in capitalization .

    ردحذف